⌛ natasha romanoff | marvel cinematic universe

[spysassin]

	✔ Cʀᴏssᴏᴠᴇʀs/AU ✔ Aᴄᴛɪᴏɴsᴘᴀᴍ ✔ Pʀᴏsᴇ	✔ Pɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs ✔ Oᴛʜᴇʀᴡᴏʀᴅʟʏ ✔ Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs	♥ F/M, F/F ⏰ Uᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ, ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ Eɴᴅɢᴀᴍᴇ AUs

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[spysassin]

[She laughs.]

Good. It'll be fun. You can tell me all those little art things.

[The ones she doesn't particularly care about but it's fun to see him be passionate about something other than truth and justice.]

[valuedstrength]

[His face lights up instantly.] You're gonna regret that. I hope you know what you're in for.

[spysassin]

[She laughs.]

After everything we've been through, I think I'll be able to survive a little art.

[valuedstrength]

Yeah, that's true. [He walks for a little in silence before getting to what he should have said to begin with.] Thanks for having my back. It turned out to be a trap obviously, but it could have easily gone the other way.

[spysassin]

[She nods once as she makes they make their way through. She had his back because she knew that was what he needed, and she knows how when he hones in on something, he won't stop until the job is done.]

It could have. And I'm still not entirely sure it was the right thing.

[There's now this hole between Steve and Tony, and she doesn't know if they're going to be able to fix it. Her tone doesn't say it to be judgemental because she knows how much Bucky means to him - what Bucky means to him, because she has a best friend too. But that doesn't mean they needed to punch through each other to resolve it.]

We could have done this together, Steve. That's what teams do.

[valuedstrength]

I know. [He sounds ashamed of himself. Steve had always believed they could do anything together since New York. He always preached honesty. Whenever possible he did his best to practice what he preached. Once he realized the horrible truth he couldn't do what he needed to do. There's a reason he dropped that shield. It wasn't all for Bucky's sake. He knew in his heart that the mistake he made him unworthy of it.

Now seems like a good a time as any to explain himself to someone.] Do you remember what Zola said back when you pointed out that SHIELD would stop him? What he showed us?

[spysassin]

[She swallows hard because that was not a great day for her, but she nods.]

What they did to people who got a little too close to figuring out SHIELD was actually HYDRA?

[valuedstrength]

When he showed us that picture of Howard and then the Winter Soldier a thought crossed my mind. Maybe he caused the accident. But, so much was going on. By the time I got a chance to stop and think back on what happened, I told myself that I was reading too deeply into it. He knew seeing Howard like that would get to me. It was all just a distraction.

[He had almost believed it. Steve swallows hard himself before he resumes the story.] Then when Bucky snapped out of it, he mentioned what Zemo wanted from him. He wanted to know about a mission that took place on the day Howard died. For that moment on I knew in my heart that he had to have done it without ever being told. I couldn't ask for Tony's help because I couldn't lie to him. Not directly anyways.

[Lies of omission still count in Steve's book. His eyes well up as he goes on.] But, it turned out to be for nothing. They taped it. And they made Bucky do a lot more than cause an accident. It was worse than I ever could have imagined and we all saw it; Bucky, Tony, and I watched them die. That's why things got so bad. Tony looked at me and he knew that I must have figured it out at some point. The whole thing just spiraled out of control after that. He tried to kill Bucky, I tried to help Bucky escape... He was so angry I think he would have killed us both if I hadn't broken the arc reactor.

[Which is horrifying in itself. Steve wipes his eyes and tries to stay calm. They are still in public.] It just... There's no forgiving that. He could never forgive me for not telling him as soon as suspected it. He can't forgive Bucky for what happened to Maria Stark. We can never go back. It's done.

[spysassin]

[Natasha exhales slowly as she listens, and in a lot of ways, she doesn't see how this would have turned out better. If he had told Steve before hand, Tony would have let his emotions get in the way, gone after Bucky half-cocked not unlike the King of Wakanda.]

It all would have come out eventually, one way or another. And honestly, I don't know if forgiving Bucky was ever on the table, regardless of his say in the matter.

[It's still hard to look in the face of someone who killed someone so close to you. She knows from her first few weeks at SHIELD.]

Forgiving you, though - I don't think that's quite so far out of reach.

[valuedstrength]

[He nods. Steve knows that can't be helped. It's not as though he ever expected the victim's families to ever be okay with what went down. Knowing it was done under mind control won't magically bring those people back. They have a right to every bit of anger and hurt they must feel.

The rest still comes as a relief which hurts in itself. Steve doesn't even know he can justify wanting the forgiveness of a man who openly admits to hating him at times. It's not like Natasha wouldn't pick up on that.] Maybe I'm crazy for wanting us to be good again. It's not like Tony and I have ever gotten along for longer than ten minutes when someone isn't trying to kill us.

[He looks at her as if he expects her to point out how absolutely pathetic he is. Really it's just Steve projecting as per usual.] I still care about him, Nat.

[spysassin]

You can care about someone without getting along with them. That is what family is, after all.

[You're not going to get along with every single member all the time - their latest fiasco is a glowing example of that. But that doesn't negate the fact that they're family at the end of the day and their goals are still the same.]

[valuedstrength]

[He smiles because that takes about a hundred pounds off his chest. Steve can live with that.] You're right.

[He ducks his head. This is a terrible joke, but he can't resist.] As usual.

[spysassin]

[She smirks in return, leaning into him with a bit of a nudge.]

When are you boys going to learn? I'm always right.

[valuedstrength]

This is why you're the leader. [He leans in with a smirk.] We both know I'm just the pretty figurehead.

[spysassin]

[She laughs.]

I definitely can't pull off red, white and blue the way you do, that's for sure.

[valuedstrength]

Let me tell you it's a curse. Everyone vetoes my idea for a black stealth suit. [Haha the irony is he'll never get one now. :(]

[spysassin]

[She laughs.]

I'm not really sure black is your color, Cap.

[valuedstrength]

[He scoffs.] Well we'll never know now.

[spysassin]

[She laughs before shaking her head.

C'mon. Let's go get something to eat.

[valuedstrength]

Fine, but after that? I'm going to track down the nearest art museum. [And then they went off to do the thing because this seems like a good place to end things for now.]