ϟ barry allen | the flash

[supertardiness]

	✔ Cʀᴏssᴏᴠᴇʀs/AU ✔ Aᴄᴛɪᴏɴsᴘᴀᴍ ✔ Pʀᴏsᴇ	✔ Pɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs ✔ Oᴛʜᴇʀᴡᴏʀᴅʟʏ ✔ Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs	♥ F/M ⏰ Uᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ

Comments

[supertardiness]

Well, you hacked into our security system and went through our data, so until we determine how much you know, the exit is going to have to wait.

[It's not like it's the first time he's interrogated someone, and he's watched Joe do it a million times. This should be easy.]

[thegreatexperiment]

A three-year-old could hack into your security. That's one thing I know.

[She bobs her eyebrows. Nothing more entertaining than Sam getting the chance to prove just how smart she is.]

As for your data, "metahumans" have nothing to do with what I'm looking for. Cool name, though. Very comic book.

[supertardiness]

Thanks.

[Only not. Note to self: have Felicity upgrade the Cortex's security system.]

Then what are you looking for?

[thegreatexperiment]

...did you miss the part where I said a macromolecule sequence matching some very, very specific nucleotides?

[Well, he clearly doesn't speak science.]

Okay, let me see if I can put this into English.

When a man and a woman love each other very much--or just have fifteen minutes to kill--they do this thing where they combine juices that makes molecule that carries the genetic instructions called DNA. DNA is a macromolecule essential for life.

You know what, this is too complicated. Do you have a board game called "Operation?" in this universe?

[supertardiness]

[He speaks science, he just doesn't always speak biology. That tends to be more Caitlin's department.]

No, no, I understand DNA, and I understand nucleotides, I'm just not sure why you think we have it. We mostly do chemistry and physics research.

[thegreatexperiment]

You also have a fucking database of people's genetic sequencing. I mean, it's really cool. A little Big Brother. But useful.

[She pauses.]

And, considering the fact that you put me in a special room to ask me questions, I'm betting you have something to hide.

Not that I, like, care. I really, really don't. I just need to make sure the nucleotides in question don't exist here. And then I'll be on my merry way.

[supertardiness]

The people's genetic sequencing we have are people who were effected by a particle accelerator accident three years ago. That's it. It's by no means a comprehensive database. I don't know what you're looking for but I don't think you're going to find it here.

[there's a beat as he tries to gauge her reactions.]

And yeah, we have something to hide in that respect, because some of those people are dangerous, and you're not being all that clear on why you want them.

[thegreatexperiment]

You think those people are dangerous?

[What a sweet, innocent little world this is she's found herself in.]

No. No. I'm checking to see if you have something way more dangerous.

[supertardiness]

Yeah, they are, actually.

[And Barry almost sounds offended that she doesn't think so, considering all the people they've hurt.]

And you could have just asked.

[thegreatexperiment]

How would that work, exactly?

"Hi, people I don't know from a universe that I'm not from. I'd like to use your super cool computer to check for some really bad touchy nucleotides that may not even exist here? Kay, thanks, bye?"

[And yes. She would totally say the "Kay, thanks, bye" part of it.

Sam is the most mature ever.]

Look. I broke in. You busted me. What happens next? Thumbscrews at dawn?

[supertardiness]

First of all, you're not the first person to claim to be from another universe, and actually be right. You'd be surprised. Second of all, yeah. That's kind of what we're here for.

[They're basically the embassy for Earth 2, and 3 an .... 550.]

[thegreatexperiment]

[Well, that's unexpected.

Sam blinks once. Twice. Yeah, still not sure she heard that correctly.]

Wait. What?

[supertardiness]

[He sighs.]

You're not the first visitor we've had from another universe.

[thegreatexperiment]

I'm not the...the first?

I'm not the first to make the Einstein-Rosen...

[And now Sam looks bitterly disappointed.]

...well that's an ego blow.

[supertardiness]

[Barry crosses his arms in front of his chest and gives a smug shrug.]

I've actually been to two different universes myself. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[thegreatexperiment]

[She bristles.]

Oh yeah. Well. I...

[Yeah, she's got nothing.]

That is so fucking cool. How'd you do it?

[supertardiness]

[He takes a deep breath, before darting out of the room in a burst of red and gold. And then he's back again with two ice cream cones because that's apparently his thing.]

Ice cream?

[thegreatexperiment]

[Welp. She sure did underestimate this guy.

Holy fucking amazing.]

I'm sorry. Did you just...

How did you do that?

[supertardiness]

I got struck by lightning the night the particle accelerator here exploded. I was in a coma for nine months, and when I woke up I could run, really really fast.

[He licks his ice cream, still holding out the second cone to her.]

You gonna take this or what?

[thegreatexperiment]

[She takes the cone, but her interest is minimal at best. Who cares about ice cream when there's science?]

Struck by lightning.

With a particle...

Okay, then that would wreck havoc on the electrical impulses in your brain and possible send your metabolism into complete overdrive, which would necessitate what? 4,131 calories a day?

And I'm sorry, how are you not deep-fried?

[supertardiness]

I heal really fast. And it's actually more like ten thousand calories a day.

[Give or take.]

I've got a friend who makes me special high calorie protein bars so I don't get hypoglycemic.

[thegreatexperiment]

Hypoglycemia would be only one problem.

How do you...sleep?

[supertardiness]

[See, sleeping? That's not something he's ever had trouble with.]

Normally?

[thegreatexperiment]

Okay, first of all, the appropriate smartass response to that is "on my left side." I have so much to teach you.

[Because, seriously, the queen of snark isn't going to stand by and let a joke like that just go.]

And second, I meant with a metabolism like that. It's crazy.

Unless there's an occult element I'm missing?

[supertardiness]

No occult. At least not that I'm aware of. And I've never had an issue with my metabolism effecting my sleep.