🐇 fen waugh | the magicians

[consortial]

	✔ Cʀᴏssᴏᴠᴇʀs/AU ✔ Aᴄᴛɪᴏɴsᴘᴀᴍ ✔ Pʀᴏsᴇ	✔ Pɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs ✔ Oᴛʜᴇʀᴡᴏʀᴅʟʏ ✔ Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs	♥ F/M, F/F ⏰ Uᴘ ᴛᴏ S4

Comments

sorry for the delay, but yes this is perfect

[consortial]

We're doing the best we can, okay!

[... Looks like someone did hear you, Alice. And they might have taken it a little personally? It's not Alice's fault - Fen has been acting High King of Fillory for a short time now and she's really starting to get stressed. It's likely a small miracle she hasn't stabbed one of her advisors.

But she hasn't. She's doing the best she can in Margo's absence, but she knows that she's nowhere near as commanding. And when she rounds the corner and sees that the comment came from Alice, one of the other former Queens of Fillory, she immediately balks and tries to make it better.]

I'm sorry. That wasn't your fault it was just ... it's been a long ...

[She makes a face.]

It's just been long.

slow is a-ok w me 👌🏼

[dramaquinn]

[ Okay, cool, so she's not alone. How very on brand for Fillory to bring her more trouble. Not that Alice dislikes Fen— she doesn't. It's just, of all people to run into when she's like this—

Actually, no. Fen knows what it's like to lose someone you love. It's different, but it's still pain that nothing can really heal. There's a tone of despair to it, because you can never get them back.

Alice doesn't get up, but she does look up at Fen, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve. ]

Being responsible for so much is hard.

[ Understatement of the year. Decade. All of it. ]

I don't— It's not Fillory's fault Quentin died. It's... not really anyone's fault. [ A pause, a little sniffle. ] I think that's why I'm so angry.

[ Tears fill her eyes again, and she breathes in shakily. She doesn't bother fighting the reaction back. Sorry, Fen. ]

[consortial]

It's easier when you have someone to blame.

[Fen knows that experience all too well. Her issues with faeries are well documented, even though it wasn't all of them that put her in the position she was in. But faeries are deceitful and faeries make deals and faeries stole her daughter. How is she ever supposed to forgive them for that?

She makes her way closer, offering Alice a small smile in return.]

When it's a cruel twist of fate, it's hard to know where to point the anger.

[dramaquinn]

[ She glance at Fen again, to show she's not put off by how she comes closer. It's actually nice, talking to someone who gets it. Nice in a distant, mostly numb sort of way, but still nice.

Alice sniffles and sighs sharply, almost like a short huff of unamused laughter. ]

I could blame that Librarian, Everett.

[ He had to be stopped, and Quentin was the only one brave enough to do the sure thing, the guaranteed victory. Or— ]

Or... [ She pauses and dabs at her eyes again. ] I could blame myself. Because I destroyed the Keys and gave the Library what they wanted. I didn't free the Monster, but... I sure as hell didn't help.

[ And maybe that's the worst thing of all. She already hates so much of herself. One more thing makes existing feel even more unbearable. ]

Sorry, I'm just... rambling. I thought it'd help to come here, because he loved it so much.

[consortial]

I get it.

[Both why she came here, and how Fen is prone to rambles. She also doesn't really blame her for looking inward at her own choices, without a clear person to blame.]

I also get why it's not really helping. For me, I needed to get out of Fillory for a while, and it's my favorite place in the world. Aside from Benny Hanna's.