When he showed us that picture of Howard and then the Winter Soldier a thought crossed my mind. Maybe he caused the accident. But, so much was going on. By the time I got a chance to stop and think back on what happened, I told myself that I was reading too deeply into it. He knew seeing Howard like that would get to me. It was all just a distraction.
[He had almost believed it. Steve swallows hard himself before he resumes the story.] Then when Bucky snapped out of it, he mentioned what Zemo wanted from him. He wanted to know about a mission that took place on the day Howard died. For that moment on I knew in my heart that he had to have done it without ever being told. I couldn't ask for Tony's help because I couldn't lie to him. Not directly anyways.
[Lies of omission still count in Steve's book. His eyes well up as he goes on.] But, it turned out to be for nothing. They taped it. And they made Bucky do a lot more than cause an accident. It was worse than I ever could have imagined and we all saw it; Bucky, Tony, and I watched them die. That's why things got so bad. Tony looked at me and he knew that I must have figured it out at some point. The whole thing just spiraled out of control after that. He tried to kill Bucky, I tried to help Bucky escape... He was so angry I think he would have killed us both if I hadn't broken the arc reactor.
[Which is horrifying in itself. Steve wipes his eyes and tries to stay calm. They are still in public.] It just... There's no forgiving that. He could never forgive me for not telling him as soon as suspected it. He can't forgive Bucky for what happened to Maria Stark. We can never go back. It's done.
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[He had almost believed it. Steve swallows hard himself before he resumes the story.] Then when Bucky snapped out of it, he mentioned what Zemo wanted from him. He wanted to know about a mission that took place on the day Howard died. For that moment on I knew in my heart that he had to have done it without ever being told. I couldn't ask for Tony's help because I couldn't lie to him. Not directly anyways.
[Lies of omission still count in Steve's book. His eyes well up as he goes on.] But, it turned out to be for nothing. They taped it. And they made Bucky do a lot more than cause an accident. It was worse than I ever could have imagined and we all saw it; Bucky, Tony, and I watched them die. That's why things got so bad. Tony looked at me and he knew that I must have figured it out at some point. The whole thing just spiraled out of control after that. He tried to kill Bucky, I tried to help Bucky escape... He was so angry I think he would have killed us both if I hadn't broken the arc reactor.
[Which is horrifying in itself. Steve wipes his eyes and tries to stay calm. They are still in public.] It just... There's no forgiving that. He could never forgive me for not telling him as soon as suspected it. He can't forgive Bucky for what happened to Maria Stark. We can never go back. It's done.