recklessthings | 彡 cora hale

"I think a part of us always will." He's not trying to be a fatalist, but when you really love someone, that doesn't go away. Long after they're gone. Even when the hurt fades, a part of the grief is still there and always will be. Something about that feels right. It's the least his loved ones deserve. You can't let it cripple you, but it never really goes away. Your chest just ... finds a way to make room for it all. Somehow.

"It's okay to have those moments, you know? It really is."

There's a part of her that grasps that, that understands that the pain and the longing is a natural part of grieving, and that the pain she feels is okay - she lost her mother and her alpha in one fell swoop, who wouldn't be hurt by that - but at the same time, she's always been taught to control her emotions. She needs to master them to control that part of herself that could be let loose at any time.

The part that could tear and destroy and make her a killer, not just a predator, and she doesn't want to be a killer.

"I want to think that? But I can't." She shakes her head a bit, looking down again. "Sometimes it's so much that I feel like if I let it in, I'm going to lose it and I can't lose it. Not again."

Her answer makes her think of Ethan, a little.

It's funny that Alek has always had the opposite problem - he's never been able to contain himself, whether it's his temper or his emotions. They always got the best of him, even before he knew why. He shakes his head, not without some concern. "I get that, too. But there needs to be a balance. Not letting it in at all means it just ... builds, and then it could explode anyway, y'know? Trust me. I know about exploding."

And it's not pretty. He isn't proud of himself in those moments, and he doesn't really like the thought of her being aware of it, or ever seeing him like that.

"Yeah, but ... "

She shakes her head a bit.

"With my kind of wolf, control is drilled into us from day one. Find your anchor, control your emotions. Letting people see means exposure and exposure means hunters." And hunters can be the end of a pack, sometimes before it even begins. She shifts her weight a bit, running her hand through her hair. "I've already had that control ripped away from me once. If I don't hold onto it, I don't know if I'll be able to pull it back again."

Well, that certainly puts things into perspective.

His gaze softens, not for the first time thinking about how her life must've been like for so long. (Not for the first time experiencing that protective feeling that wants to shield her from it, however well she can take care of herself.)

"Sometimes I've taken Chicago for granted," Alek admits. When he realizes that might be cryptic, he elaborates. "Chicago is the only city in my world that has a treaty in place. It was signed by the two oldest beings alive in the world, and it basically means that people of all species can coexist there. In theory. There's still people trying to start wars, people that'll hate you for who you are, but for the most part - you're left alone. Everywhere else in the world is marked by territories, but Chicago - Chicago was free."

"There's nowhere like that where I'm from."

In some ways she almost sounds kind of jealous. The idea that somewhere could be safe, at least relatively so, would have been a safe haven for any of them. It would have been able to give them hope.

"Beacon Hills just draws us all in. It's like a magnet - supernaturals and hunters alike."

He can't exactly blame her. She should have a place like Chicago; a place where she doesn't have to run or feel hunted. A place where she can stand still without feeling like something terrible is going to happen if it does. Everyone should have a place like that, it's just that not everyone does.

Alek smirks faintly though, if only to give a bit of levity to the situation. "They weren't being subtle with the town name, huh?"

She rolls her eyes at that, not at him but at the name of the town. "It was built on something called a Nematon. It basically draws supernatural creatures to it. But my pack had lived there for ... a long time."

A really long time. Like, generations upon generations, until Kate Argent burnt it to the ground. She doesn't always feel how much she's lost, but times like this it hits her harder than she thinks it would.

Who pissed in your cheerios, Kate Argent.

"I didn't mean for today to remind you of all of that," Alek says. He isn't one to apologize lightly, and it's hard for him to verbalize when he genuinely means it, but it's true. All the same, he can't regret learning what he did about her today, either. It was important.

She shakes her head a bit, before giving him a small smile. She knows it's not his fault. He just opened a door - he didn't know what was on the other side. "It's okay. You couldn't have known. It's not like I really talk about it."

"I'm glad you did." Talk about it, that is. The small smile makes him pause, and before he can even try to talk himself out of it, Alek's already lifting his hand, fingers tucking an errand strand of hair behind her ear. "With me."

Him touching her like that makes her breath hitch ever so slightly, in a way that most people probably wouldn't catch, but werewolf hearing makes things ten times louder than they already are. She's quiet for a moment, tipping ever so slightly into his hand. Not enough that it's an obvious gesture, but enough.

"I've never really talked to anyone like I do with you."

She's never really trusted anyone enough. This is all brand-new territory, and in a lot of ways it's scary, but in others it's good too. It feels like she's a part of something, for the first time in a long time.

He catches that quick little intake of breath. Enough that it means his hand doesn't drop from her cheek all too quickly. His fingers lingers there against warm skin, the way his gaze lingers, long after his hand has dropped back to his side. The urge to kiss her is there, and it's not the first time that he's felt it. But he refuses to use a moment where she feels so vulnerable to make that kind of move. She's hurting from terrible memories about losing her mother, losing her family.

But he can tell it's only a matter of time on his end.

And it's not as scary as he thought it was. It's why he manages a small smile at her admission. "That makes two of us."

There's a moment where she thinks he might, where she almost holds her breath for it in anticipation, but as much as she wants him to, she's still grateful that he doesn't. If he does (when he does), she doesn't want it to be about her and her mom, her family, all the things she's lost. She wants it to be about something she's gaining, something that's irrevocably hers, and this moment wouldn't feel like that.

But knowing that feeling is there, for the first time ... ever, really, for her, is terrifying and exciting all at once. She doesn't know if the feelings she's feeling are anxiety or butterflies and that only serves to make her smile when he says that they're on the same page. A real smile, bright and unflinching, one that only really Derek has seen in recent years, but Alek gets it too, if for no other reason than Alek gets her.

"We could probably still find something to do." She lets the subject drop because there doesn't seem to be any more to say, and if for no other reason, she wants to talk about something else. "It's not like it's too late or anything."

The narration is happy they are on the same page. The last thing he wants to do is take advantage of her or her feelings in any kind of way. When they look back on something like that, it should be about them and just them. Not their scars, not their past, not even the memories of the people they love most. Just Cora and Alek. For now, he'll hold on to the sight of that beautiful smile and the way it makes his chest ache. But it's a good ache.

While he does not lean in to kiss her, like he wanted to, his hand does eventually find her own as it lowers back to his side. He gives her a smirk that may or may not be smart ass-y. "There's always the movies. You still have a long way to go before you're a seasoned vet like me."

He's just saying.

She laughs a bit at that, because yes, she knows she has a lot of catching up to do. Catching up she honestly doesn't mind doing, provided she has the right person to do it with. She lets her fingers curl around his, before giving his hand a bit of a tug as she smirks in response.

"Well, come on. Better start catching me up."

It's kind of grossly adorable, the way his smile widens - in a way it doesn't too frequently either, mind - once he sees her reaction. Not that he was expecting her to jerk her hand away, but the warmth of her fingers curling around his makes him feel warm, too. He tugs right back.

"Yes, ma'am," he says, giving her a small salute with his free hand.

The movie they will be watching is Guardians of the Galaxy, just in case audiences at home were wondering.

彡 cora hale | teen wolf

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	✔ Cʀᴏssᴏᴠᴇʀs/AU ✔ Aᴄᴛɪᴏɴsᴘᴀᴍ ✔ Pʀᴏsᴇ	✔ Pɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs ✔ Oᴛʜᴇʀᴡᴏʀᴅʟʏ ✔ Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs	♥ F/M, F/F ⏰ Uᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ