ϟ barry allen | the flash

[supertardiness]

	✔ Cʀᴏssᴏᴠᴇʀs/AU ✔ Aᴄᴛɪᴏɴsᴘᴀᴍ ✔ Pʀᴏsᴇ	✔ Pɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs ✔ Oᴛʜᴇʀᴡᴏʀᴅʟʏ ✔ Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs	♥ F/M ⏰ Uᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ

Comments

[kindawimpy]

[ her nose wrinkles, ugggggggggggh she didn't want to go to the planetarium, she doesn't like space, she feels itchy all over just thinking about it, but barry's a sweet guy and she really has no resistance to that dumb hopeful look on his face. ]

Everyone knows that, Curious George knows that. [ jk that's just what she knows it from. ]

[supertardiness]

[He makes a face at that, before glancing back to her again.]

Okay. Did you also know that despite being closest to the sun, Mercury is not the hottest planet? Mercury has no atmosphere, so there's no way to insulate the heat and keep it from leaving. While the side facing the sun is 425 degrees, the side facing away is negative 195.

Venus, on the other hand? Always 462 degrees.

[kindawimpy]

Mhmm, Venus is the only planet named after a woman, you'd be surprised what I know about it. Come on, Brain Trust, I thought you were the smart one of this duo. Hit me with something to make me like space.

[supertardiness]

[He sighs for a moment, trying to think about what's the best response to this, but it's hard to say, really. He's always just been mesmerized with the infinite expanse of it all.

Then, he glances over at her, before smirking.]

In space, you'd actually be taller.

[kindawimpy]

You're already too tall to be an astronaut. [ how does she knows these things? she babysits a lot of wanna be astronauts but also she hates space so she's determined to know a shit ton about it so she can tell everyone why she hates space. she's basically leonard mccoy. ] Why would you want to be taller?

[supertardiness]

I'm aware of that.

[It was a very sad day when he crossed that threshold.]

But I thought we were trying to find ways to make it seem cool to you.

[There's a beat.]

But honestly, I don't get it. What's not cool about space? I mean, there's so much of it that's yet to be explored and that we don't understand? What's not exciting about infinite possibilities?

[kindawimpy]

It's horrifying? Everything is darkness, nothing can survive except tiny microorganisms and even they die, they just last longer than anything else. You can start fires with water, which is just not natural, frankly. It's fucked up. And it's incomprehensibly large, I don't even want to think about it, it makes me nauseated. It never ends, it just keeps going, and there's no real way to keep track of time because even being able to see the sun doesn't mean you're going to get a day/night schedule. Besides the fact that! There isn't any air! You'll die. You'll be dead in space and I won't come collect your body, no offense, you'll just be dead and floating around for eternity or until you get sucked into a black hole and your body turns back into atoms, but you're in space so you probably won't turn into a lovely plant or a load of dust motes in the sunlight, you'll just be space dust inside a black hole where nothing exists and that's horrible.

[ she takes a breath, looks down at a child who stopped to hear her explain why space is horrible in wide eyed horror. ] Go away, small human, find your parent or guardian. Go eat astronaut food.

[supertardiness]

[Barry stares in wide eyes silence for a moment himself before pausing and raising a finger to say ... ]

Actually, you can start fire with water on Earth. Add water to magnesium and you get a flame.

[But that isn't the point.]

And yeah, okay, there's a lot of risks, but it's all really a matter of if that risk is worth the reward of discovery.

[kindawimpy]

[ she makes a face at him. ] Not even Pluto is safe in space, fuck that.

[ VIVA PLUTO MOTHERFUCKERS. you hear about pluto? that's messed up, right? ]

[supertardiness]

[He sighs heavily.]

So if you hate space so much, why did you come with me?

[Just ... out of curiosity.]

[kindawimpy]

Because you're cute and you asked me to. [ duh. ]

[supertardiness]

[His head ducks a bit at that, before he shifts to rub the back of his neck.]

You could have suggested something else. I just wanted to get out for a bit.

[kindawimpy]

Nah, you were all excited about space! The Final Frontier! Blah blah nerd stuff. [ she shrugs, unconcerned. ] I like stars and all, I'm a constellation savant, I just don't like space.

[supertardiness]

[He nods in agreement.]

Fair enough.

[And since there should be a compromise in here somewhere.]

You want to go and see one of the shows? There's one that's pretty much all constellations all the time.

[kindawimpy]

Sure. [ compromise is a beautiful thing. ] Do you know anything about the Incan constellations?

[supertardiness]

[He pauses before shaking his head.]

Nope. Educate me.

[kindawimpy]

Stars were really important to the Incans. A lot of them correspond with animals. Atoq is the fox, he's a tiny little constellation beneath the llama's feet. Andean foxes eat baby vicuñas, but if the parents catch them they'll try to trample them to death to save their babies. In December the sun passes through the constellation and baby foxes are born in winter, which is cool.

[supertardiness]

Oh, neat.

[He knows a lot of science stuff about stars, but mythology is a bit out of his wheel house.]

So it's kind of like the Greek and Roman constellations but more practical.

[kindawimpy]

And way less slutty. [ slut shames zeus always. ]

[supertardiness]

[He laughs.]

That is definitely true.

[kindawimpy]

I think anything would be considered less slutty than Zeus, though. It's not an incredibly low bar to skate under.

[supertardiness]

[He shakes his head.]

No it is not. He definitely was the kind of guy who got around.