ϟ barry allen | the flash

[supertardiness]

	✔ Cʀᴏssᴏᴠᴇʀs/AU ✔ Aᴄᴛɪᴏɴsᴘᴀᴍ ✔ Pʀᴏsᴇ	✔ Pɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs ✔ Oᴛʜᴇʀᴡᴏʀᴅʟʏ ✔ Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs	♥ F/M ⏰ Uᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ

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[supertardiness]

The thing about Linda and Becky Cooper is that in the back of his mind, Barry is making the same comparison Iris is, he's simply more conscious of it. They are great, for a little while. He pretends like he can move on because he and Iris aren't going to happen, but he sets the bar too high.

That's the problem with being in love with your best friend - everyone else pales in comparison. And Iris is Iris. There's so much for anyone else to live up to. Dating just to bide his time feels disingenuous. All he can do is wait for the feelings he has for Iris to fade away or hope that someone comes along that can meet his standards.

"Joe and I were going to watch the game," he says with a nod, holding up the beer as though that's evidence that game watching is happening. "He's just picking up the pizza."

Pizzas. Iris didn't need to know the truly embarrassing amount of pizza Barry was about to inhale.

[journalize]

Iris cants her head to the side to regard him for a moment. Maybe it's a little longer than a moment. Time for Iris and Barry means very different things, after all. Everything for him's sped up but for her, sometimes, time can go by interminably slow. The nine months that Barry was in a coma were difficult for her. She found solace in what she could: there was Eddie and his endless patience and support, there was her dad, first and foremost; there was school and work and friends-you-talk-to-when-your-best-friend-is-missing.

It's time they're never getting back. In many ways, it feels like it's time that's changed everything. It's more than a little strange how you can grow up alongside someone - only one bedroom down - and know them so well: when they're happy, sad, lost. The difference is before, Iris knew the why. There's a lot she doesn't understand anymore. And it always feels like there's something she's missing. She doesn't ask this time around.

She just smiles instead. "Sounds like a riveting evening."

Okay, so that was her smart ass answer. Her more real answer: "I'm glad you two are spending time together." Outside of work.

[supertardiness]

Barry wants more than anything to let her in on what's going on behind the curtain, but there's always a point that stops him every time. It's Joe's words in his head about Iris knowing putting her in danger, and there's always a part of him that's going to want her to be safe. If he lost her, the weight of it would cripple him.

(At the same time, he knows that Iris is stronger than Joe gives her credit for, than anyone gives her credit for. It's Barry that's the weak one, which is funny, since he's the superhero.)

"Yeah, it's been good. I've missed being around you guys all the time." He's missed places that feel like family.

[journalize]

Her smile softens at the answer.

She settles a hand on his shoulder, ve-e-e-ry carefully sitting at the edge of the sofa lest she wrinkle her dress. "You've been missed too, Barry." It's hard to explain what those nine months were like without him, but even once he returned from the coma, part of him has felt ... missing. It sounds weird to say out loud, but it's true.

Then there are moments like these, where she feels like she has Barry again. Like he's a little more hers.

[supertardiness]

Barry would love to tell her that he's always hers and that Iris is always going to come first, he also knows that isn't going to happen until he tells her the truth. Part of him knows that he should have told her a long time ago, and when the time comes the truth is going to hurt more than it helps, but he still can't bring himself to save it.

Part of it is Joe's warning about keeping her safe, part of it enjoying their secret talks with the Flash for stories for her blog - there are so many reasons, but none of them are good ones. No matter how it happens, she's going to be hurt, and that's something she doesn't deserve either.

"Maybe we should do something later." He floats it out there, because he does still love hanging out with his best friend. "When you're not all dressed up to make Eddie eat his heart out."