[Which is why the whole thing catches him by surprise and he falters, just for a moment. Derek cuts himself off from the world, starves himself for the affection his nature naturally calls for, unable to trust himself with anyone because in the end when he does people only seem to get hurt. But he wants it, needs it so desperately sometimes it hurts, so when Abigail kisses him, at first he can't help but melt into it, kiss her back, soak up the spark that it ignites in both of them as though it's the only thing he has to keep him warm.
But it's only a few seconds later that everything else catches up with him. As his hands move to her waist to steady her he remembers that it's Abigail. His sister's friend. A teenage girl, not much older than he was when Kate ...
He pulls back with a shock, pushing Abigail away from him gently looking apologetic but wanting at the same time, that need still lingering under his skin.]
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But it's only a few seconds later that everything else catches up with him. As his hands move to her waist to steady her he remembers that it's Abigail. His sister's friend. A teenage girl, not much older than he was when Kate ...
He pulls back with a shock, pushing Abigail away from him gently looking apologetic but wanting at the same time, that need still lingering under his skin.]
Abigail ... I ...
[he pauses before shaking his head.]
I can't.